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Wellness

Just Breathe!

Just Breathe!

Breathing is the most vital action we take in our lives, because it is the essence of life for us. We can live for weeks without food, days without water, but only minutes without breathing … yet it is the most unconscious action that we take.

Sadly, our modern lifestyles mean we go about our daily lives, living in the fast lane, taking our unconscious breathing for granted. For example, those of us who drive to work do so on motorways and in cities that are jam-packed with cars. We spend hours behind the wheel, frustrated with the stop/start nature of the traffic, stressed and tired, our legs cramped, our arms and shoulders tense and a nagging ache in our lower back. As we get frustrated with the traffic, the traffic lights, the pedestrians, the weather and the fact that potentially we are going to arrive late, our bodies tense, our stress levels rise, and our breathing is constricted. Our day has already not started well, and we haven’t arrived at work yet.

We get to work and sit for hours hunched over our desk, working on the computer, our shoulders rounded and our necks strained. Our poor posture, repeated day in, day out, makes it impossible to breathe deeply, resulting in low-back pain and headaches. The demands of work – unrealistic deadlines, internal politics, organisational structures – create anxiety and negatively affect our breathing. By the middle of the afternoon, we are feeling tired, losing concentration and the “brain fog” has set in, so we take time out for a caffeine break when what we really need is more oxygen!

When we spend our entire day breathing shallow, short, sharp breaths, we signal stress to the body. It’s no wonder so many people feel stressed out – their breathing makes their body react as if they are. So they are!

As the stress builds up, it can create negative thoughts. Our body doesn’t know how to differentiate between real and perceived danger, and programmed to protect itself, takes our negative thoughts as a cue for the “fight, flight or freeze” reaction – to do battle or run away, whichever seems right at that moment. As the adrenalin surges, our blood pressure and heart rate rises, blood flows to our muscles in case we need to run away, and our breathing becomes faster and shallower. Really useful when we are in genuine danger, but not so good when this state of constant stress has become our general approach to living. Sooner or later, the results will show up in some destructive way in the body, so it’s important to learn to break the pattern of stress.

I vividly remember the instant calm I felt the first time I spent just two minutes consciously taking a few deep breaths in and out. I encourage you to try it – simply starting to breathe properly can have a profound effect on your experience of life. Deep, balanced breathing is a great way to reduce stress and promote mindfulness. The most basic meditation practice is simple awareness of the breath, which aids in relaxation, concentration and inner peace.

So here’s a small challenge for you, designed to help you bring awareness to your breathing. Find something you do many times a day, and resolve to notice your breathing every time you do it. For example, every time you wash your hands, reach for the phone, look at the clock, sit down, etc., just check in for three to five seconds. Take a deep breath then continue with what you were doing. Notice if it changes anything. And please share your experiences in the comments below – I love hearing from you!

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Wellness

What Is “Wellness”?

What Is "Wellness"

Many of us assume that, if we don’t have an illness, we must be well. But if someone is bored, depressed, stressed or simply unhappy with their life, are they truly well? I know from personal experience that over time, negative emotional states can weaken the immune system, leading to physical and mental illness. Also, when we feel down, we may turn to smoking, alcohol and/or food as a substitute for other needs that are missing in our life – such as respect, recognition, support, a sense of purpose and belonging.

Wellness is a choice.

Every day you make choices. You choose what to eat, how to exercise both your body and your mind, how to express your emotions, how you react to situations you find yourself in, how to interact with others. You also choose how to take care of your environment. All our choices affect our level of well-being – some support it, and some destroy it.

Our “health care” system is actually one of “illness-care” for it only comes into play when something has “gone wrong” – it’s valuable in diagnosing disease, repairing injuries and the treatment of symptoms, but it is not effective in supporting us to make good choices towards our well-being.

Wellness comes from our lifestyle.

Most illnesses today are the result of our lifestyle. The introduction of technology means that rather than the physical work of our ancestors, we spend hours sitting at a desk, getting very little exercise. When we do get outside, it can be difficult to breath in “clean” air – there is so much pollution in our atmosphere from the number of cars on the road today. Our food is mass produced, genetically modified, covered in pesticides and insecticides, picked before it’s fully ripe and frozen to keep it looking “fresh” for longer. Our bodies are finely tuned computers, but they struggle to cope with the foreign onslaught they are expected to deal with – is it any wonder that we get sick?

Wellness is a process.

There are lots of ways we can create the life we want rather than just reacting to whatever comes along. I remember someone telling me some time ago “it’s not what happens to you, but how you react to what happens to you that counts”. It’s certainly true that there is benefit in seeing life’s challenges as opportunities for growth rather than as problems! If you are looking for a sense of satisfaction, I encourage you to volunteer on projects in your community that are meaningful to you.

Learn to create and nourish close relationships with others. It’s good for our well-being and for theirs too. Be open and supportive of those around you, but don’t forget to ask simply and directly for what you need and want from others, or you will struggle emotionally. And trust your intuition, it knows what’s best for you.

Wellness is the loving acceptance of yourself.

There are many stories about young people travelling the world in search of truth, only to return home and find the answer in their own backyard. The same is true of our own health and wellness. Attempts to find the doctor, book or “expert” that has the answers to our questions usually ends in frustration. Looking within, and assuming responsibility for what you find there is a necessary condition for wellness. A friend and mentor once told me “If you don’t look within, you’ll go without”. How true! Know that you are unique and the only expert about yourself.

And then there is love. Love is not “out there” waiting to be found, it is within you, wanting to be recognised. In fact, as you fall in love with yourself, you naturally get healthier. To love yourself is to love your body, your emotions, your intelligence, your spiritual nature. It is to trust, accept, understand and forgive yourself. Forgiveness, whether of yourself or others, often brings with it a relaxation in the body, and peace of mind. This harmony is the essence of health and the heart of wellness.

How we think affects how we feel. How we feel affects how we take care of ourselves. How we take care of ourselves affects how we think and feel. It’s a circle. We can either go on an upward spiral, or a downward one. I know which direction I like to go in – what about you? What are your thoughts about wellness and (as I prefer to call it) well-being? Please share in the comments below!

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Nurture Yourself

Each one of us knows exactly what we need to do to nourish ourselves – but very often we sacrifice our own happiness and fulfilment to look after those we love. By neglecting our own needs we deplete our internal resources, and in turn, are less effective in caring for others.

The reality is that self-trust, self-responsibility and self-love (self-acceptance) are the foundations upon which our wellbeing flourishes. Take care of these, and everything else falls into place.

Is it selfish to want to be happier yourself? I don’t believe so. Have you noticed how happy people have happy habits that work for them? Doesn’t it make sense, therefore, to create some happy habits of our own, to keep our own level of happiness topped up?

So how can we do this? Here are a few suggestions, but I know you have your own ideas – and I encourage you to put them into practice:

  • Get enough sleep
  • Get some exercise
  • Have a soak in a luxurious bubble bath
  • Listen to some music
  • Dance
  • Sing
  • Go for a walk in nature
  • Meet a friend for a cuppa

Share below what you are doing today to nurture yourself and what impact it has on you and those around you.

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How Are Your New Year Resolutions Shaping Up?

As midnight struck on 31st December, and the chorus of “Happy New Year” rang out around you, did you set yourself a New Year resolution? What did you resolve to do? Was is that THIS YEAR you are going to reach and maintain your ideal weight? To make money in your business? To find a new job? To put down a deposit on a new home? To go to the gym three times a week?

Here we are, well into January … and how well are you doing?  If you are like most people, your resolution has probably been broken … if not forgotten. But relax. You are normal. And it’s not the end of the world.

So many people have more than good intentions – at the time they make the resolution, they really believe that THIS year will be different. The trouble is, that while the intention is good and well-founded, it’s sadly most likely to fail. The intention is usually set during the holiday period. You are away from work. Your schedule is different. You believe you can do this – but you probably haven’t set a very specific plan and you almost definitely think you can do this on your own. And while you are away from work, you might stand a chance.

But before you know it, the holiday is over and you are back at work. Back in the environment that is comfortable – and designed to keep you right where you are. An environment that is neither conducive nor supportive to change. An environment where the priorities are about the company goals. An environment without a support mechanism. And you quickly fall back into your old, comfortable routine.

The good news is that, with a little effort and support, you can successfully combine your career with your personal goals. All it takes is having an accountability partner – someone trained to listen, question, support and encourage you without judgement or a hidden agenda, Someone who will help you stay on track when the going gets tough … and it will.

If you are serious about achieving your goals this year, take advantage of my introductory coaching session. It will help you get crystal clear on what you want to achieve and what’s been holding you back. Just click the calendar and choose a date and time that works for you. It could be that one conversation can change your life.

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How To Set And Achieve Your Goals

Typically, January is the time we focus on the year ahead and set our goals and intentions, and all too quickly, we’ve forgotten them. If this is true of you and you want to get to the end of the year with much to celebrate, here are some suggestions to keep you on track:

1.  Look Back On The Past Year

While the year might have flown past, take a moment to reflect back and celebrate your successes, learn from your mistakes, and note down the areas you think could have been improved.

2.  Pick No More Than Three Areas To Focus On

Don’t overstretch yourself – pick up to three major areas to focus on and break them down into SMART goals. (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-bound). For example, you might choose:

– a personal goal – perhaps to work out three times a week, or focus on a healthy balanced diet, or have a massage once a month.
– a professional goal – to build my business by focusing on X, Y and Z, or to get promoted in July by doing X, Y and Z.
– a financial goal – to increase the revenue in my business by $X, or save enough for a house deposit.

Make them really specific and be sure to write them down and display them somewhere where you will see them often. It’s a good idea to read them daily, as a reminder of your intentions and to keep you focused on your goals.

3  One Step At A Time

Take a moment to break the major goals down into smaller, more achievable monthly, weekly and daily action steps – it’s much easier to achieve your goals if you know the daily steps to take – and less overwhelming to take small, consistent steps in the right direction. Set review points along the way to check on your progress.. For example if your goal is to save for an overseas trip, in September, set monthly targets of how much you need to have saved in order to pay for the trip in August, then celebrate by booking your flights or making your itinerary.

4  Adjust along the way

By checking in each month on your progress, it’s easy to see if you are on track. If you are ahead of schedule, then celebrate. If you are behind schedule, then look at what adjustments need to be made – were you too ambitious in the first place, and need to extend your deadline? Or can you step up the activity and catch up on the original target?

Whatever happens, stay positive, believe in yourself and keep taking those small, daily action steps towards your goal.  You may be surprised at how much can be achieved in a year!

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Reach Out

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Time Management

In the past week I’ve had two clients ask me to help them with challenges around their time management.  It’s a common question, particularly in business where, to keep costs down we are asked to achieve more with less. What often happens, though, when we have so many things on our plates is that overwhelm takes over, and our productivity plummets – the reverse of the desired effect – and this in turn leads to more overwhelm as the work piles up and little appears to get done.

I’m reminded of Steven Covey’s story about the rocks, pebbles and sand:

A teacher walks into a classroom and sets a glass jar on the table. He silently places 2-inch rocks in the jar until no more can fit. He asks the class if the jar is full and they agree it is. He says, “Really,” and pulls out a pile of small pebbles, adding them to the jar, shaking it slightly until they fill the spaces between the rocks. He asks again, “Is the jar full?” They agree. So next, he adds a scoop of sand to the jar, filling the space between the pebbles and asks the question again. This time, the class is divided, some feeling that the jar is obviously full, but others are wary of another trick. So he grabs a pitcher of water and fills the jar to the brim, saying, “If this jar is your life, what does this experiment show you?” A bold student replies, “No matter how busy you think you are, you can always take on more.” “That is one view,” he replies. Then he looks out at the class making eye contact with everyone, “The rocks represent the BIG things in your life – what you will value at the end of your life – your family, your partner, your health, fulfilling your hopes and dreams. The pebbles are the other things in your life that give it meaning, like your job, your house, your hobbies, your friendships. The sand and water represent the ‘small stuff’ that fills our time, like watching TV or running errands.” Looking out at the class again, he asks, “Can you see what would happen if I started with the sand or the pebbles?”

I love this story, and have heard it many times and with slight variations, but the message is always the same. Make sure you start with your big rocks and fit everything else around them.  This is a great strategy for anything you want to achieve, whether in your business, work or private life.

Setting boundaries is important, too – make sure you don’t take on extra work that you just don’t have time for, without getting agreement on what won’t get done, otherwise you will be working long hours, stressed and potentially heading for burnout.

If you are part of a team, or a team leader/manager, is there spare capacity amongst your colleagues for them to take on new tasks? Delegating down offers them a chance to step up – they may relish the challenge – and perhaps come up with some new ideas.

If time management is a challenge for you, here are some tips – please share any other ideas that have worked for you in the comments:

1. Identify your top three goals. Make a list of the weekly tasks supporting those goals, schedule activities in your calendar,  evaluate your progress each week and re-adjust accordingly.
2. Focus on the task in that moment – don’t multi-task – it’s counter productive.
3. Automate productivity by scheduling activities on the same day and at the same time each week.
4. Review your progress at the end of each week. What worked? What didn’t? What can you do differently?
5. Make sure you schedule some down time – give yourself time to relax – mentally and physically so you can reflect, recharge and rejuvenate.  Find what works for you – some people like listening to music, reading a book, meditation. Don’t underestimate the importance of taking time out – you’ll find you can tackle the challenges with a fresh mind when you’ve had a break.

But I’m curious – what time management strategies work for you? I’d love you to share in the comments below!

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Worth It

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No Regrets

In the last week I’ve seen references on Facebook that when Apple co-founder Steve Jobs passed away at age 56 in 2011, he delivered a speech or left behind a deathbed essay about the meaning of life.

I found the words so poignant, and was saddened by the thought that this man who I held in high regard had spent his life focusing on accumulating wealth and only realising there is more to life on his death bed.

I decided to research this rumour – it seemed strange that it only surfaced four years after his passing – the words had impacted me so – and I was relieved to discover that “in absence of any firm source they  can’t be attributed to Mr. Jobs.”

Nevertheless, I think the words speak volumes and I just want to share them:
“I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world. In others’ eyes, my life is an epitome of success.

However, aside from work, I have little joy. In the end, wealth is only a fact of life that I am accustomed to.
At this moment, lying on the sick bed and recalling my whole life, I realize that all the recognition and wealth that I took so much pride in, have paled and become meaningless in the face of impending death. 
In the darkness, I look at the green lights from the life supporting machines and hear the humming mechanical sounds, I can feel the breath of god of death drawing closer…
Now I know, when we have accumulated sufficient wealth to last our lifetime, we should pursue other matters that are unrelated to wealth…
Should be something that is more important:
Perhaps relationships, perhaps art, perhaps a dream from younger days
Non-stop pursuing of wealth will only turn a person into a twisted being, just like me.
God gave us the senses to let us feel the love in everyone’s heart, not the illusions brought about by wealth.
The wealth I have won in my life I cannot bring with me. What I can bring is only the memories precipitated by love.
That’s the true riches which will follow you, accompany you, giving you strength and light to go on.
Love can travel a thousand miles. Life has no limit. Go where you want to go. Reach the height you want to reach. It is all in your heart and in your hands.
What is the most expensive bed in the world?
Sick bed…

You can employ someone to drive the car for you, make money for you but you cannot have someone to bear the sickness for you.

Material things lost can be found. But there is one thing that can never be found when it is lost – Life.
When a person goes into the operating room, he will realize that there is one book that he has yet to finish reading – Book of Healthy Life.
Whichever stage in life we are at right now, with time, we will face the day when the curtain comes down.
Treasure Love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends.

Treat yourself well. Cherish others.”

What a reminder that life is short, that we should live it to the full, with no regrets … and focus on the important things in life – our family, our friends, on being grateful for what we have, on spending our time pursuing our dreams, on filling our lives with happy memories.

Life is too short. Follow your dreams. Live life to the full, with no regrets.